Spoons

I have a friend who has a funny word for troublemakers:

Spoons.

You know, because they ‘stir things up’ or ‘stir the pot.’

I don’t know if he came up with it or if he heard it from somewhere else. But I think it’s perfect. It doesn’t sound nearly as mean as some of the words I might use for such people, but it definitely gets the point across.

(Just as an aside here: I know taking this metaphor way too far. But I’m a writer. My imagination tends to take an idea and run with it. I’ve also been writing long enough to KNOW when I’m taking something too far. But today I’m going to break my own rule and just run this metaphor right into the ground.)

I was telling Brad with great delight about how my friend uses this word.

“I mean, it’s brilliant. Knives and forks are more dangerous looking and could cause more obvious damage. But spoons look so unassuming with their smaller size and round edges. Nobody would think they were capable of being hurtful…” I trailed off as my imagination took over.

Brad chuckled. “I know where THIS is going.”

Sometimes the most dangerous people are the quiet ones. They don’t make loud cutting insults or stab you in the back necessarily. But they start rumors, quietly spread gossip, make subtle insinuations instead of outright accusations.

Spoons are entertained by watching the drama of other people’s lives. Peace is boring to them. But conflict and turmoil is interesting, stimulating. If a spoon feels threatened by another relationship you have, he/she may just plant a seed of distrust by making a seemingly innocent remark to lead your mind down the wrong trail of thought.

Spoons can also hold and transfer more substance than a knife or a fork. Information is power and they are almost always gathering information and making mental notes of information in your life to later be shared with the wrong person at the wrong time to cause strife.

Solomon discusses such a person in Proverbs:

A troublemaker and a villain,
who goes about with a corrupt mouth, 
who winks maliciously with his eye,
signals with his feet
and motions with his fingers,
who plots evil with deceit in his heart—
he always stirs up conflict.

Therefore disaster will overtake him in an instant;
he will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy.

There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. (6:12-19)

Now to be sure, there is a time and a place to be a spoon. If injustice is thriving and those around it are unaware of it, someone must stir them up to move them to action. If evil is going unchecked, spoons can be prophets, warning of coming danger.

There is a right way to be a spoon. Jesus was DEFINITELY a spoon when He began His ministry at age 30. He spoke difficult truths when necessary and for the good of others. He held the power of healing, knowledge and love and served them to many.

I think that’s the main difference. A spoon can stir, but it can also serve.

One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 12:18.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Paul readily admits that peace may not always be possible, based on the other people involved. But all we can control, all we are responsible for is ourselves. So for my part, I should pursue peace.

Conversely, there is a time to rock the boat. There is a time to stir things up.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

     a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
     a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

The key to being the right kind of spoon is to do a heart check. What’s your motivation? Are you stirring things up for the greater good or just to cause trouble? Is it necessary? Are you serving for the other person’s benefit or to make yourself look good? Is it about you or about them?

Love is the only acceptable motivation. If you can’t do it from a place of love, don’t do it.

Now, go be the right kind of spoon.

And I bet you’ll never look at your silverware the same way again. You’re welcome.