Just a little light

A lot of people consider me a bleeding heart.

It’d be tough to argue with them. There aren’t many causes that I couldn’t pour myself into at a moment’s notice. All I have to do is watch one video, hear one story, learn one statistic and I can be fanatical about change.

I tend to throw around more time and money than is necessary or even healthy, sometimes not even knowing if it made any difference.

But recently, I got a lesson on how far just a little bit of light can go.

Several weeks ago, I posted on Facebook about a friend of mine. Mom of five, no degree, no job, married to someone who moved out years ago and completely dependent on his whims to put money in her account to care for their family. He wouldn’t divorce her, make the car payments (so the car got repossessed) and child support was determined by what kind of mood he was in (they’ve been evicted several times).

Some people would look at that and say things like: Well, these are the consequences of her choices. Doesn’t she know she can just go to the courthouse and demand things? Why doesn’t she do something about it?

First of all, I’m really glad Jesus doesn’t always make me lie in the beds I make. Secondly, after being so trapped for years, you forget that you are capable of being free. You shame yourself for getting into this mess and you stay paralyzed with fear and regret. That’s why.

She and I had lost touch over the past several years. I hadn’t heard from her in a while but just assumed things had gotten better. Then I talked to a mutual friend who brought me up to date and I found out things were worse than ever.

Social media is a double-edged sword, to be sure. I love keeping up with friends and family that I don’t see much anymore. But honestly, it probably does more harm than good.

BUT… I’m friends with some amazing people. And if you don’t ask, the answer is always no, right?

So I asked. Posted to Facebook, explained the situation, listed the needs and asked if anyone had any ideas.

Well.

Even if I wasn’t a ridiculous optimist, my faith was restored in humanity.

Out of the woodwork came high school friends, college friends, former coworkers, coaching clients, friends of my parents, friends of my kids. People I had seen the day before and people I hadn’t spoken to in 20 years.

Lawyer friends were sending me PDFs of paperwork to file. Women who survived similar situations got on the phone with her. People sent money, gift cards, well wishes. Some people gave a lot. Some people gave a little. But it seriously added up. And of all the people who contributed ANYTHING, only one person actually knew HER.

You know what this tells me?

1) What I already know: I am friends with some amazing people.
2) People WANT to HELP and GIVE.

Time, money, advice, suggestions. My friend who felt alone, abandoned and powerless suddenly had a surge of hope. And believe me, there is nothing more dangerous than HOPE. It makes you feel like a superhero.

Did we raise enough money to hire a lawyer, buy her a house and by her a car? Nope. But God used that injection of hope from people all over the country to remind her of His love, which she was seriously starting to doubt.

I’ll tell you what else it did. That rush of hope got the ball rolling that quickly picked up momentum.

She had a great phone conversation with a woman who had been in a similar situation.
She managed to bum a ride downtown to file the paperwork for immediate child support.
She opened her own bank account in her name and put the donated money in it.
She was given the name of a family law attorney who gave her free legal advice.
She was able to buy a couple of her kids some much-needed new shoes.
She met with a career specialist who is helping her with her resume.

My friend felt trapped because if she went through the state for child support, her husband would get mad and (temporarily) stop giving her money (which she had been through before). That little bit of cushion gave her the confidence to move forward without fear of retribution. (And her husband is at a total loss for how she’s buying groceries.)

It shows what just a teeny bit of light can do.

In overwhelming situations, I often feel so hopeless that I offer nothing. Because I can’t fix it all, I don’t help with ANYthing.

A great reminder what God can do with a couple fish and loaves of bread.

Also a great reminder that maybe we can’t solve homelessness, but we can give one person a boost. We may not be able to rescue every single victim of human trafficking, but we can save THAT one and THAT one, provide her with shelter, food, therapy and job training. We may not be able to overcome the corruption that keeps Haiti starving, but we can supply jobs and purchase products that empower individuals and families to survive.

Most people gave between 20 and 50 dollars. What difference could that make? Well, it showed my friend that someone cared about her. And combined with other 20s and 50s, it became enough to change the trajectory of my friend’s life and her children’s lives.

Codependent people like me get easily sucked into extreme helping. And my husband knows this bleeding heart well. He gently reminded me to not put pressure on myself to fix EVERYTHING (which I needed and appreciated) and so God was able to show me what He can do with just a little SOMEthing. ANYthing.

So for those of you who gave, know that you saved a life. Whether you gave $20 or $200, whether you gave time, advice or gift cards, you SAVED HER LIFE. And we have no idea what God will do through her when she no longer has to worry about food or clothing.

You changed the game, you lit up her future when she couldn’t see her hand in front of her face because of the crushing darkness.

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, ‘Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?’ He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, ‘It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!’

Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, ‘Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?’

Jesus said, ‘Have the people sit down.’ There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, ‘Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.’ So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten. John 6:5-13

Philip said, “We can’t feed everyone. So what’s the point in feeding ANYone?”
A little boy said, “Well, all I have is my lunch, but you can have it.”
Andrew said, “It’s not much, Lord. But this is what we have to work with.”
Jesus said, “It’s plenty!”

Thankfully when I was feeling like Philip, God surrounded me with Andrews. And my friend is on her way to a new life.

There are no words to express her gratitude. It was no less than a God-given miracle to her. She took it to heart and is using it to fund her fight for freedom.

And her heart is not the only one that was changed. Thank you all for reminding me what just a little light can do.