It’s just a matter of time

I used to love me some Randy Travis.

Well, I actually still DO love me some Randy Travis. He and Alan Jackson were the first concert I ever went to. Several years ago he had a life-threatening stroke, leaving him unable to walk or talk, much less sing.

Then of course he had to go and make me cry like a baby when he got inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame last October. He was slowly able to walk up on stage and after letting his wife give his acceptance speech, led the audience in singing Amazing Grace. I mean, seriously.

So I started working through some of my old favorites of his on youtube and iTunes. (You know, all the songs I had on CASETTE TAPES.) Brad and I were enjoying It’s Just a Matter of Time in the car one day and Brad hit that low, low note and I couldn’t help but swoon. Stupid deep voices and Southern accents.

I was having a conversation with someone recently about something tragic in the news and she said, “Well, it was just a matter of time.” And she was right.

But then an earth-shattering thought about knocked me over:

It’s always just a matter of time.

Everything. All of it. Our entire lives are just a matter of time.

Suddenly, my long-term memory pulled up a file long forgotten.

I had a strange affinity for Gone With The Wind when I was in middle school. I watched it over and over and over and can still probably quote all four hours by heart.

But I remembered the sundial clock outside the Twelve Oaks plantation that held a quote by Benjamin Franklin:

Do not squander time. That is the stuff life is made of.

Of course, as a twelve year old, the thought of squandering time never crossed my mind. (Obviously, if I had time to watch a four-hour movie a zillion times.)

But I think about it now. A lot.

More and more I’m realizing that ‘I don’t have time’ just isn’t true in most cases.

We don’t have time, but we’ll binge watch multiple episodes or seasons of some show on Netflix.
We don’t have time, but we’ll spend hours at a time on social media.
We don’t have time, but we would never miss a workout at the gym.

As I regularly explain to clients, we DO have time, but most of us have just lost it. And if it’s lost, it can be found. And repurposed.

I believe down to my toenails that God has a purpose for every single person He has created. And I DON’T believe He created us with a purpose without providing us enough time to do it.

Like a nutritionist does with food, I sometimes have my clients do a time-tracking exercise for a couple of weeks. (Of course, the fact that you’re keeping track of your time automatically makes you more mindful of it, but it can still be surprising.)

One client was telling me about a book she had recently read that introduced a concept called ‘life maintenance.’ The idea is that most of us spend our lives just trying to ‘maintain’ the status quo and our highest goal is to just not screw it all up and our greatest prize is normal. (I immediately decided to never read this book. I don’t have time.)

I’m very familiar with ‘survival mode,’ those seasons of life when life has just changed forever, and you’re just trying to make it through. It’s a very reactive period and you just respond to whatever life throws at you next.

We’ve all been there. But I know several people who have gotten stuck there, even though the crisis has long since passed. Life is happening to THEM, instead of THEM happening to their LIFE.

Now I’m considering ‘maintenance mode,’ where most of us live. Wake up, get a shower, make the kids’ lunches, take them to school, go to work, pick them up, get them to their activities, help them with homework, eat dinner, clean up, collapse onto the couch to numb your mind with social media or Netflix, stay up way too late. And repeat.

So I began asking myself if I have become stuck in maintenance mode. And the possibility terrifies me.

I don’t have time.

As this planet continues to move around the sun, as I’m still breathing, I don’t have time to just survive or maintain.

I don’t have time to NOT snuggle in bed with Caroline, as long as she’ll let me.

I don’t have time to NOT close my laptop and slow dance with my husband when our song comes on.

I don’t have time to NOT let Sydney take as long as she wants doing my hair and makeup for an event.

I don’t have time to NOT take Beau on a five-day college road trip.

I don’t have time to NOT go to Haiti, Israel, Texas for my cousin’s wedding, the Grand Canyon with my sister, St. Simon’s Island with my sister-in-law.

The next generation (our own kids or not) is counting on us.

Not to make their lunches, attend every practice, do their homework for them. That just teaches them that if you’re exhausted, flustered, stressed and ‘don’t have time,’ you’re doing life right.

WRONG.

They’re counting on us to teach them the REALLY important things that tend to get lost in the Tyranny of the Urgent.

To guard that sparkle in their eyes and that fire in their hearts.
To take adventures.
To make memories.
To love people hard and well.
To be silly.
To dance in the kitchen.
To help their friends move.
To laugh loud and often.
To find their purposes and do the crap out of them.
To chase God all the way Home.

We DO have time for those things that are truly important, that make the world a better place.

We DON’T have time for those things that make our lives seem full and purposeful, but are really just busy.

Start paying attention to how many times a day you say or think ‘I don’t have time.’ What is it you don’t have time for? And why?

And then make sure those answers are okay with you.

It’s all just a matter of time.