Chaos

We have all experienced certain levels of chaos.

And chaos, of course, is when something is completely out of control.

Different personalities handle this phenomenon in different ways. More freestyle, artsy types enjoy the craziness and probably find it inspiring and comfortable. Some people LIVE in chaos, CREATE chaos and it doesn’t bother them one bit (until it inevitably gets on the other people in their life).

Then we have our Type A, OCD control freaks. Chaos is their kryptonite. As we talked about in last week’s video, the desperate need for control stems from fear of what could happen if that control was lost. So those people tend to react to chaos with anger, judgment and/or anxiety.

Most of us fall somewhere in the middle, strangely okay with chaos in some areas, repulsed by chaos in others.

Even if chaos doesn’t bother you personally, a life void of structure wreaks havoc on relationships with friends and family members. It’s impossible to plan times to get together or maybe it’s just impossible to find their keys in the pile of junk you left on the counter.

A fully functioning life requires some semblance of order.

A chaotic life or situation is usually a reactive one. Instead of making a plan, organizing your stuff or being purposeful with your time, you end up standing in the middle of a mess waiting to react to the next thing life throws at you.

Kids LOVE structure. They may not be able to verbalize it (“Wow, Mom, I really love how you’ve organized this Tupperware drawer” or “Thanks for always knowing when my dentist appointments are, Dad”), but kids who have clear boundaries, expectations and routines are generally less anxious and more productive.

I’m speaking in huge generalities here. Of course there are those one-in-a-hundred little mad scientists who flourish in chaos.

But most of us hear chaos as a negative word. So whether you have just one chaotic area of your life, several areas that are out of control or you feel like your whole life is a big accident waiting to happen, here are some steps you can take toward a more ordered life.

Your environment:

1. Clean your car. Whenever you get home, throw away all the trash in your car in the outside trashcan. Then gather all inside items and take them in with you.

2. Straighten your stuff. Take a few minutes each evening to do some minor straightening up before you go to bed. Get all the dishes out of the sink before calling it a night. Waking up to a mess is a huge morale killer.

3. Free your floor. The only things that should be on the floor are pieces of furniture. Everything else has a place to go: clothes, shoes, books, papers, backpacks all have a place to go. And it’s NOT on the floor.

4. Purge your piles. A lot of environmental chaos comes from just having too much stuff to try to manage. As soon as you’re finished with a piece of mail, throw it away. As soon as an article of clothing doesn’t fit anymore, add it to the bag of things going to Goodwill on your next trip. Don’t hang onto stuff you MIGHT or SHOULD do something with. If you know you’re not going to read that book again, get it off your shelf/nightstand.

Your schedule:

1. Use a calendar. I know you have one, but are you really using it regularly? Technology leaves us little room for excuse in this area. With Google calendar that can sync your computer and your phone, with all the color-coding and repeat-event options, you have to try hard to miss appointments these days. Even if you still prefer to go old school with a write-on calendar, just use it.

2. Build in margin. You’ve got to expect the unexpected. When putting things on your calendar, consider travel time, construction, traffic, etc. You can’t predict the future, but leave enough buffer between each event that one snafu doesn’t throw off your whole day.
   

3. Confirm and communicate. Set reminders to yourself on your phone. The day before a meeting, send a quick text or email to confirm the time and location. When making plans that will affect others in your life, check to make sure there are no conflicts and then communicate the plans to them as soon as they are made.

Crisis point

The suggestions above are just maintenance tips. But what if your area of chaos is past the point of day-to-day maintenance? You’ll need an altogether different battle plan.

Set aside a maximum of two hours each weekday evening to tackle one area that’s gotten out of control. The fridge, a closet, your dresser, your desk. Gradually getting back in order can be less intimidating and overwhelming than taking a whole day or weekend.

Or if you’d rather hit it hard and get it over with, pick a Saturday and systematically go room to room. We’ve all got that friend or family member who is just naturally organized. Call him or her and get them on board. Order a pizza. Play some music. Go out to celebrate when you’re finished. But GET IT DONE. (Then make sure to follow the maintenance steps above so you don’t have to do that once a month.)

Moving forward, the key is to be PROactive instead of REactive. Make sure that YOU are living your LIFE, instead of your LIFE living YOU.

A reasonable level of structure and order in your life can make a huge difference in anxiety levels, time management, productivity and relationships.

Head back over to the Facebook page, watch the video, if you haven’t already, and tell us one area of your life that is chaotic and what steps you’ll take this week to get it under control.