A natural woman

Aretha Franklin has left the building.

I know I have a strangely strong reaction to the death of certain celebrities. You guys know I’m a marshmallow, easily affected by, well, everything. Including beauty. So even if I don’t know these people personally, their art has contributed something beautiful to my life. So I grieve.

I feel like I’ve known “A Natural Woman” my whole life. The first time I heard it was at a dance recital. I am one of the proud alums of the Mary Ellen School of Dance in Ocala, Florida. (When Caroline started dance, we went to school after school and none of them measured up to my standards. I was trying to find Miss Mary Ellen.)

I took ballet, tap and jazz from age 3 to around 13. I was always enchanted by “the big girls,” the high schools and teachers who performed beautifully in the yearly dance recitals. We always bought the tape so we could watch it later on the VCR (since we were backstage for the whole thing).

One year, a huge group of “big girls” performed a stunning ballet to “A Natural Woman.” I didn’t really understand the song, but the melody was beautiful and the movement was mind blowing for a little eight year old, still trying to perfect her turnout.

I watched it so many times, I almost memorized the choreography. I can still picture those out-of-focus images in my head. Flawless form, en pointe, beautiful costumes. Wonderful introduction to that song.

Then, of course, I was introduced to The Big Chill soundtrack, which I listened to over and over and over on my boom box and Walkman.

I remember going for a while without hearing it. Then it came on the radio one day when I was in my twenties, driving to work in Ocala. And I got it. I got it in a way that neither Aretha nor the songwriters (one being Carole King!) ever intended.

Jesus showed up, hijacked the song and made it a permanent fixture in the soundtrack of my life.

See, Jesus and I have songs. Like ‘they’re playing our song’ kind of thing. And they’re not always hymns or worship songs. And when I heard “A Natural Woman” as an adult, all I could think of was Him. It became my love song to Him.

Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel so uninspired
And when I knew I had to face another day
Lord, it made me feel so tired
Before the day I met You, life was so unkind
But You’re the key to my peace of mind

‘Cause You make me feel, You make me feel,
You make me feel like a natural woman

When my soul was in the lost and found
You came along to claim it
I didn’t know just what was wrong with me
Till Your kiss helped me name it
Now I’m no longer doubtful, of what I’m living for
And if I make You happy I don’t need to do more

‘Cause You make me feel, You make me feel,
You make me feel like a natural woman

Oh, baby, what You’ve done to me
You make me feel so good inside
And I just want to be, close to You
You make me feel so alive

You make me feel, You make me feel,
You make me feel like a natural woman

What DOES it mean to be a woman these days? Good grief. I don’t know ANYONE who wants to pick at that scab, except maybe the ones with absolute answers.

The wise philosopher Chris Rock said in one of his performances, “Women, women, women,” he looked into the audience, “do y’all know whatcha want yet? I know whatcha want: EVERYTHING.”

We’re all getting lots of messages about what it means to be a woman these days. And even if we don’t exactly know who we are and how we’re going to do it, we have no shortage of options on how we’re SUPPOSED to do it.

Apparently to some, I’m supposed to be angry. Very, very angry. I should be protesting everything, mad at everybody while wearing an inappropriate hat. And if I’m not angry, I’m not really a woman. I’m a sellout to the Old Boys Club.

To others, I’m not supposed to wear jeans to church, dye my hair blue, get a tattoo or ever teach men from a place of biblical authority. My role in the church is to keep my always-smiling mouth shut, makeup on and serve myself into exhaustion. If I’m not happy with that, I’m not really a woman. I’m a disrespectful feminazi who doesn’t know her place.

So what does Jesus say? What does it mean to be a natural woman? I mean, He created us. So if anybody knows what it means to live like a natural woman, it’s Him.

I’m not gonna get into Proverbs 31 here. That’s not a to-do list or a Mother’s Day sermon. It’s a Jewish blessing that husbands were to speak over their wives. I want to look at Jesus’ interaction with women while He was here.

In John 2, His mother approached Jesus with a request to save a party host from certain embarrassment. He spoke to her kindly and respectfully, reminding her to wait on His perfect timing, then fulfilled her wishes, performing His first public miracle.

In John 4, Jesus once again breaks society’s standards: 1) He went through Samaria. 2) He acknowledged the existence of a Samaritan. 3) Oh, not only was it a Samaritan. It was a woman! 4) THEN He led her to BELIEF IN HIM.

John 8 tells of a woman ‘caught’ (read: set up) in the act of adultery. Jesus spared her from being stoned, taught all her accusers to examine their OWN hearts, spoke to her gently and encouraged her to leave her life of sin.

In Mark 5 and Luke 8, an unclean woman had the audacity to reach through the crowd and touch His prayer shawl for healing, which she immediately received. Jesus addressed her in front of everyone, praising her faith.

In Matthew 15 and Mark 7, Jesus praised a Canaanite (not Jewish, traditionally the other team) woman for her great faith and healed her daughter.

In John 11, the sisters Mary and Martha were grieving the loss of their brother Lazarus, resenting Jesus for not coming and healing him when they sent for Him. He ministered to them based on their individual personalities, then raised their brother from the dead.

In Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 7 and John 12, Jesus stood up for the woman who worshipped Him by anointing Him with expensive perfume and said she would always be remembered for it.

In Luke 10, Jesus allows Mary to sit at His feet while He taught a room full of men (unheard of) and He told Martha to get out of the kitchen and be with Him.

In Luke 13, He publicly healed a woman on the Sabbath and shamed His critics for their lack of compassion.

In Luke 18, Jesus tells a parable of an annoyingly persistent widow demanding justice from a judge and says everyone should pray like THAT.

In Mark 12 and Luke 21, He honored the poor widow for giving everything she had as an offering.

Matthew 27, Mark 15 and Luke 23 mention that many women were at His execution, women who had followed Him and cared for His needs.

In John 19, while Jesus is literally being tortured and dying on the cross, He makes arrangements for His mother to be cared for.

In Matthew 28, Mark 16 and John 20, He meets the women who have come to care for His body even after His death, reveals Himself at the climax of history to lowly females, tells them to tell the disciples, effectively making them the first evangelists of the resurrection.

So here’s what we can surmise about what it means to be a natural woman:

Natural women fearlessly ask for (don’t demand) what they want, they persist in prayer and trust Jesus with the results.

Natural women have rockstar faith.

Natural women know that Jesus just gets them, knows their quirks, personalities, emotions and fears. And they feel safe in that.

Natural women are brave. They always show up, never hiding their faces or shrink away from the hard stuff. They show up, even in the darkest hours, and love.

Natural women are passionate in their worship. They are expressive and sacrificial.

Natural women are sinners who trust the redemption of Jesus’ death.

Natural women don’t quit. They persist, they love hard and free. When tripped up by sin, they are quick to return to Jesus for His restoration.

Natural women are honest about their struggles. If something tragic, unfair or unexplainable happens in their lives, they go to Jesus with their complaints before turning to others. Because He would never shame them for their feelings.

Natural women know their value in Christ, regardless of society’s gender bias, race, age or appearance. They don’t have to fight to prove their worth.

Any woman who has experienced Jesus could easily look at their lives and sing Aretha’s love song to their Savior. I would venture to say, she probably threw open those beautiful lungs soon after seeing Him and unleashed the most passionate version of that song ever performed.

And when I get there, I’ll join the massive women’s choir who regularly gather to sing of our love for Him. And we’ll be singing our song.

Thank you, Aretha, for giving us another vehicle to praise Our Great Love. Thank you for being a role model of a natural woman for the rest of us.