What do you want?
That question is still fairly new to me. For years, it never really occurred to me to figure out what I wanted (other than for Christmas or my birthday). It honestly didn’t MATTER what I wanted or what I wanted to do. It only mattered what I SHOULD do.
And most of the time, I did it. After all, doing what you WANT to do meant you were selfish and self-absorbed and didn’t care about what other people needed from you, right? I mean, who CARED what I wanted?
God did.
Make no mistake, He already knew what it was. In fact, for years He was probably the ONLY one who knew. Because I sure as heck didn’t know. And if I DID know, I was certainly not going to acknowledge it. What would be the point of that? I just need to put my head down and do what I SHOULD do.
And then one day, I woke up and realized I had no idea who I was anymore. And that was totally not okay with me.
The very first words of Jesus in the gospel of John are,
What do you want?
Right there, the first red letters you see.
He wants to know. More accurately, He wants to see if YOU know. And if you do know, do you want it enough to say it out loud and own it?
Do you know what you want?
For your marriage?
For your family?
For your friendships?
For your work?
For your world?
For your life?
If you don’t know, you better figure it out.
Why? you ask. It doesn’t matter. What I want is completely out of my reach.
I’ll tell you why. Because what you want, your deepest desires, the things you’ve never admitted to yourself or spoken to another living soul, THAT is where you are vulnerable.
It doesn’t matter if you admit it or not. Satan has been watching you your whole life. And while he can’t read your mind, he’s a body-language expert. He’s heard what you’ve said, he’s watched how you’ve responded, he’s seen what you’ve done when nobody’s looking. HE knows what you want. And that’s what he’s going to go after.
Another reason you should do some soul searching and figure out what you really want: Because maybe, just maybe God put that desire there as part of your purpose. It may very well be part of who He created you to be.
To be sure, we have warped and twisted all kinds of beautiful, legitimate intentions into destructive actions that can do great damage to ourselves and those we love.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9
BUT harnessed under the power of the Holy Spirit, that want can play a role in changing the world.
Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
This verse can be translated to mean pretty much anything you want. The easiest jump to make would be to assume that if you ‘take delight in the Lord,’ He’ll give you whatever you want.
But what I think it means is that when you take delight in the Lord, when you love Him best and first and as well as you can, He will put certain desires in you that will allow you to collaborate with Him in accomplishing His great plan for eternity. He will plant those desires in the fertile soil of your heart.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33
So what do you want? What brings you joy? What places would you like to see? What are the social causes that keep you awake at night? In what areas do you desperately long for peace and resolution? What crazy dream do you have that just won’t die, no matter how long you’ve tried to starve it out?
What do you want for your marriage? Will you take those desires to your spouse and work hard at building your relationship? Or will you seek to satisfy yourself in other avenues (your job, an affair, a hobby)?
What do you want for your kids? Will you use the energy from your wants to spend time connecting with them, getting to know who they really are and affirming them for that? Or will your aspirations for them make you insecure and controlling, trying to turn them into something they’re not?
What do you want for your friendships? Are you willing to risk being real for the sake of true community? Or will the lack of connection cause you to gossip and betray key relationships?
What do you want for your work? Will you pour your heart into your profession, knowing that all jobs, whether menial or glamorous, can be done for the glory of God? Will you take your secret dreams and risk a career change at God’s calling? Or will you sacrifice your soul for worldly success that still leaves you feeling empty?
What do you want for your world? What are the hot-button issues in your heart that just won’t leave you alone? Will you channel that discontent into practical efforts to affect change? Or will you let the brokenness of this world paralyze you with discouragement and helplessness.
What do you want for your LIFE? After your funeral when friends and family gather to share their favorite memories of you, what do you want them to say? What are the characteristics and actions you want to be remembered for? And when you stand before God, will you get the high five reserved for those who just NAILED their purpose while on earth? Or will you get the compassionate pat on the shoulder He gives all too often to those who He loves dearly and is thankful they’re Home, but just … missed it?
What do you want?
Jesus is asking. He already knows. But He wants YOU to know. And He wants to talk about it. Because chances are, He put that want in there and has a plan for it.
Satan has a plan for it as well. If not surrendered back to the One who put that desire there in the first place, it can quickly get away from us, become too strong for us to manage and lead us into destruction.
Stop blindly living the life you think you SHOULD be living. Take a deep breath, muster up all the courage you’ve got and risk looking hard and clear-eyed at the life you WANT to live. Pour some scripture and prayer over it and see what it looks like. Dare to speak it to someone you trust and get some godly counsel.
Your wants can be your greatest strength or your greatest liability. They’re there. You can’t ignore them forever. They’re going to come out in either healthy, productive, kingdom-bringing ways, or selfish, greedy, ultimately eat-you-alive ways.
It’s your call.
But you can’t steer something you won’t acknowledge. So tell Him. He’s asking. For your sake and for the sake of the kingdom:
What do you want?
